"Um..ok"

Crap-tacular. Turd-tastic. Just plain garbage. Those are some of the ways to describe Dead to Rights – PSP's first, real, ‘all-out-violent' game.

It seems a little harsh, so we'll say something positive – the graphics and animations are quite a treat for your eyes. But really it doesn't matter, since your eyes won't be looking at that after 5 minutes with Dead to Rights, no sir. They'll be looking at those fleshly, flaps of skin that cover your eyes when you're ASLEEP!

The game has an incredibly pointless story. Some woman has got herself kidnapped and you've got to save her. Erm…that's it. It's quite irrelevant really, since all the game entails is running into one room, shooting a load of enemies, and going to the next room. There are a few bosses, but they're no more than enemies with a little extra bit of health.

“Well, it must be pretty short then, if that's all the game is.” I hear you cry. (Un)surprisingly, the game is far too short – we had ‘Master Cop Mode' (the hardest mode in the game) beaten in less than three-quarters of an hour. There simply aren't enough levels to keep you going for longer than that, and all the levels carry much the same level of difficulty, with only the final level posing some sort of challenge.

As well as using fire-arms to attack the incredibly stupid enemies (seriously, did Namco forget the AI code or something?) the game ‘boasts' being able to call upon your dog who will force one to the ground and go all savage on his Neanderthalic ass. Though, with the enemies flinching every time you shoot, you can just stand there and hold down ‘X' until they give up the ghost and die, leaving absolutely no need for the crazy mutt – we beat the games three difficulty modes (first time and in about an hour and a half, might we add) without the need to use him at all. We only used him when pissing about on one of the levels with all the crazy cheats enabled. You can also go into Matrix-style bullet time to get in some accurate shots on enemies before they have a chance to move, making it even easier to kill them. If game ratings were based on their difficulty, and not their amounts of adult content, this would get a 3+ for sure.

There's also a LAN multiplayer mode (with extra characters available as unlockables in the one player campaign) with the same awful controls, crappy lock-on system and dull gameplay. If you want to put someone to sleep, play them in Dead to Rights. Don't use hypnosis, or drug them up, this does the trick better than that. Our tests prove it.

Just don't buy this game. Whilst the graphics look nice (here's hoping GTA looks as good), and the effects are cool, such as lots of blood splattering when you shoot a bad guy, the dull, repetitive and insanely easy gameplay, make for one of the worst PSP games we've played.

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 11/03/05