"Jump! Away From This Game"

Theres a story behind this game, but no one knows what it is. Its not like it really matters because the story is just a weak platform for a weak platform fighting game. If you're looking at buying this game then you're either an anime fan of Cartoon Network and FOX Saturday morning cartoons or you're looking for something like Super Smash Brothers. I was the latter and unfortunately I let the anime kids talk me into spending a lot more time and money than this game deserves. Since there are no reparations or apologies for buying bad games, I'm going to help out my fellow gaming brothers and write this review.

Story: No one is sure what the story is, there is a lot speculation and "Lost" type theories, but like the show "Lost" there are no real answers. The story really doesn't matter, even though I couldn't tell what it was its still nonexistent in the game. You'll see a three second cutscene in comic book style fashion with a little bit of Japanese writing that can't be understood.

Graphics: The graphics of this game look like a Super Nintendo game which isn't a bad thing. The animations of the characters look very jerky and robotic which is a bad thing. The characters also look very small even though the camera stays focused on your character at all times (unlike Smash Bros). The character's have a lot of over the top attacks which I'll talk about later, but they really take away from the game.

Sound: This game has the worst sound of any game I've ever played on the DS. The music sounds like they hired some washed up keytar player from an 80's metal hair band to perform some of his greatest hits. Most of the songs sound like they were ripped straight off some of the preprogrammed songs you find on a keyboard bought at a garage sale.

If the music isn't a convincing enough reason to mute your DS, then the sound effects will definitely win your vote over for the "Quiet Game". Theres a lot of punching, kicking, jumping and falling in JUS, you would think the developers would take the time to make decent audio for the biggest part of their sound files. Instead it sounds like they gave some homeless guy a tape player to record some kids playing Power Rangers on the playground. Sound isn't important in this game so just turn it all off and have the tv or some music play in the background. Its much cheaper than going to the hospital because you jammed a screwdriver into your ears.

Gameplay: Now that we've covered the side dishes of the game its time for the main course. As I've said earlier, no one knows what the story is (unless you include all the guesses), so all you have to worry about is completing the objectives given to you before each fight. However, all the objectives are in Japanese. You now have two choices: guess at what the objectives are (and fail them) or read an FAQ every five seconds and translate (and still fail). The FAQs for this game just aren't clear enough to make the neutered gameplay worth all the time and aspirin you'll waste on your migraines.

The game does have a bit of depth to it, even if its only a kiddie's pool worth. You get to manage what everyone calls "decks". If you're able to progress through the game you will unlock characters (most of them not playable) whom you can put on your "team". So if a character is in your deck while you're fighting, you just push on their icon on the touch screen and they'll show up in the fight, do some damage and run off. The best way I can describe it is that they're like pokeballs in Smash Bros. This does ad some depth to the gameplay, but not enough to save the game.

Wifi: Yes, you can take this game online and play against others. Once you brave the net and back hand someone across the globe I can assure you that you will never do it again. I won't hold the cheapness of the other players against the game developers (an anti-cheese method wouldn't hurt though), but be warned that its rampant.

This game lags, it lags badly. Everyone swears its because so many of the players are in Japan, but I've played Japanese players in MK and MPH and never had any lag with magnitude of this game. It takes your character well over a second to respond to a button and that right there will get you killed easily. Every second in this game counts, it really determines who wins and who loses and a lot of who wins is decided by who is the cheesiest player and doesn't lag the worst. Now before you question my connection, I can promise you its more than capable of handling anything the net can throw at it.

Remember how I mentioned the "over the top" attacks of the characters earlier? In story mode they look kinda cool with all the flashing, stretchy arms and multiple fists coming from one character all at once. In wifi mode, its the downfall of the whole experience. When four separate people are using these attacks it slows the game down to a baby's crawl...one that has no legs and a full diaper. Combine frequent frame rate drops with crippling lag and you have scaring online encounter that will make you want to touch your DS...so you can throw it across the room.

Overall: All in all this game isn't worth the plastic is was printed on and it certainly isn't worth the trouble of having to import it, pay extra money for it and try to translate it yourself. If someone tries to give you this game push them in front of a bus because they are no friend to you. This game is the cream of squid soup that your mother would give away on Canned Food day at school because she didn't want to get rid of the good stuff. If Goodwill is generous enough to take this game off your hands do it! At least now you can get a tax deduction and look like a good person...until someone plays the game.

5/10

Reviewer's Score: 5/10, Originally Posted: 07/16/07