"I can't put a finger on it...but I swear I've seen you somewhere before!"

An unfortunate score for most of you Brawl lovers out there. If you've produced a review before, however, you'd realize that 5/10 means "Playable - Nothing Special About It". In this case, I'm forced to slap on a score instead of just reviewing the game as it should be. Most of the times, a game review wouldn't even be reviewed if there wasn't a score on it. Now, since that was a nice explanation of why this game got that score (or wordings), you will witness the ever-so-welcoming, lacking called Super Smash Bro's. Brawl!

Brawl is a highly competitive game. The majority of people wouldn't want to go out and buy a memory card for any of their Wii games because the Wii has a built in hard-drive. Now then, my friends commented on bringing Brawl to a local place where we play, but then I told them that I didn't have a memory card. Which then brings me to another case, having the worst selection possible at the start of the game. Some people just want to pop this game in and start playing the baddies that Sakurai hyped up. Just then I realized, that the three people that I wanted to play as were hidden somewhere in the adventure mode. The adventure mode, aptly named as Subspace Embassary or SSE for short, is a child's nightmare. It's scarier than the things underneath my bed. Some of the things under my bed are weird, but that's far from the subject at hand. Subspace Embassary is the longest thing I've ever played just to unlock something. Well, not exactly, that's just a huge exaggeration, there are some games that have longer times to unlock things. For example, Final Fantasy XII had you go through a long system just to unlock the best one-handed sword in the game. That system would possibly take you more than twelve hours. If you were a hardcore gamer, probably ten. However, that's just a game that I could simply import into my memory and then show-off to my friends by plugging it into the nearest Playstation 2. However, the Playstation 2 didn't have its own hard-drive so I was forced to buy a memory card. I'm not forced to buy a memory card with the Wii. I'm able to use the hard-drive. This ties in with my long story in a very simple way: I don't want to go through twelve hours just to play as Sonic. I don't want to go through six hours just to play as Solid Snake.

Instead of going through the hated Subspace Embassary, you could simply just play certain stages a certain amount of times until you unlocked the person you wanted. However, yes there is always going to be a "however", you can only unlock so many people until you want to bash your head into your television. Then, after unlocking so many people after that long period of time, you realized that you could've unlocked that person simply by playing Subspace Embassary for an hour or two. Which entails that they don't intend for you to get the characters easily; they want you to go through fifteen hours of a horrid side-scrolling adventure and then play it with your friends. The downside is, the majority of my friends don't even enjoy Brawl. That's not because we're horrible at it or because we just simply dislike Nintendo, but it's because there are other fighter games out there that simply just knock this game off its throne. Naruto Gekitou Ninja Taisen 4 is a game worth mentioning in this department. It implies some really good strategy and it isn't anything like Brawl. Brawl, you can manipulate and find new ways to glitch the system. Some moves are also the same in Naruto Gekitou Ninja Taisen 4, but, the point I'm trying to bring up is that there isn't a bad character. In Brawl, you'd have to play through the Subspace just to get that one character that you always wanted to play as, and then finally you realize that you should've read a good review and then see that your character is garbage. In Naruto Gekitou Ninja Taisen 4, you could manipulate all the characters so that none of them were horrible. Even some of the characters that people called Gods in that game were destroyed by the simplest of characters. In Brawl, there will always be that one person that knows how to get the Smash Ball and just straight-up murder the competition.

Now, I know I've been talking a lot of trash about the Subspace Embassary, but right now I want to talk about the new items that have been implemented into the game. Some of the items that were newly put into the game (and it's also worth mentioning the items that were put back into the game) are just unbelievable. There are some really overpowered items in this game. You could simply just throw any item and send someone launching. All items in this game are deadly. Which leads to the greatest option in the world, the ability to take them off! However, that leads to a pretty dull match. Kung-fu and gung-ho sort of moves are really interesting to watch when you know how to wave-dash and such. It's not interesting when two people don't have the knowledge to wave-dash and are just jumping to get out of the way. What they could've simply done is kept the option to eliminate items while adding in an option that makes them toned down in power. This would, hopefully, make the game a bit more decent. This game isn't just a wash-off of Melee. The mechanics may seem the same, but long-time fans (Fans of the first ever Smash Bro's) will probably be aware of Melee being called an original knock-off. Seeing as the game derives from Super Smash Brothers, you would think that the game-play mechanics would be the same and just a bit more features in it. That's exactly what they did. It's not just some sort of knock-off, cheap-skate game. It's pertaining to its title and it's not diverting from it. If they totally revamped the game, then it would divert from the game totally and it would feel different. So, I would agree that this game is repetitive and it plays the same as the previous two titles, but if it didn't stay within the range of the game-play that the other two consisted of; then this game would be a total failure. I don't think Brawl fans would want to see their series dumped into the dirt. This game does have its ups and downs, but mentioning all the ups isn't what a review is. That's just simply praising the game.

Items, still the most dreaded item in the game (excuse the semi-pun). All computers, no matter their level, know how to manipulate items! It's really just terrible! I can use a Falcon Punch on a computer that hasn't used their Final Smash yet and the ball wouldn't even pop out of their body. The simplest of hits could send the Smash Ball flying out of my hands! Any computer, with any attack, probably has a 80% chance of knocking it out of your hands. Then they have a 10% chance of them killing you before you can use it. Then the other 10% is all due to luck. I simply dread the Smash Balls because it's a lack of originality. To obtain a Smash Ball, you must first have items turned on. Then you must play a stage until the camera starts to tilt or pan; this will give you the message that a Smash Ball has appeared on the stage. The object is to hit it as hard and as fast as you can before anyone else so you can use your Final Smash (your characters special-designed move). Some Final Smash's are complete copies. The Star-Fox trio has the same Final Smash (The Landmaster). Link and Toon Link have the same Final Smash. Pikachu and Sonic have identical Final Smash's. Ganondorf and Bowser have similar Final Smash's (too an extent; they just both turn gigantic). Samus, Pokemon Trainer, and Mario also have identical Final Smash's. This is just a lack of originality. The only things that make up for that is the other Final Smash's that are original and the move sets that the characters have that aren't related to their copies. Final Smash's should all be original. Every single one should represent their character from their respective franchise. Mario shoots out a huge wave of fire, meanwhile Samus shoots out a huge energy beam of light towards her enemy. Both are identical. Both, or just one, needs to be changed.

Another huge installment, which should be the last item I talk about, is the Assist Trophy. This is also an additional item dreaded by me. I really dislike this item. If I could just toss it down to the pits of Hell, I would. I can't, unless I have a friend kick me off Norfair. The Assist Trophy has some really neat things inside of it. When you see a cyclinder-shaped, transparent, blue-glass, then you have caught a glimpse of the glimmering Assist Trophy. Run up to it and grab it. Your character will automatically break it as long as someone else doesn't hit you hard enough to where you drop the item. Just like the Smash Balls, this item is completely identical to the PokeBall. The PokeBall obviously has Pokemon spurting out of their cages and destroying anything in their path. On the other hand, the Assist Trophies have different looking beings, but the same animations as the Pokemon have. Some may not look the same, but they perform the same actions as Pokemon do (Some have attacks that simply knock you off stage without doing damage, which an assist trophy has the ability to do and a Pokemon also). I don't really like that lack of originality. Somethings I really do not like to see pop up when I break open a case of happiness is the mole and the dog. The dog basically covers up the whole entire screen. How does this "assist" you? It doesn't. The mole basically blabbers for two or three minutes. Not that horrible you say? Well he has his own big thought bubble that does the same action as the dog, except his bubble is transparent; it still gets in the way though.

So far you've just experienced the horrible items that ruin the game. That won't stop you from buying it though! Hopefully the horrible story mode does though! The storyline, as stated above, is called Subspace Embassary. You run through side-scrolling levels (just like the original Mario games) while defeating Primids, or as I like to call them, "Baddies". The Primids, or for the lulz, “Baddies” are trying to take over designated spots in the world that just so happen to house our favorite Nintendo characters! Whenever the Primids overpower a certain area (or it's desolated without any protection), they'll set up a bomb that covers a certain amount of land in a dark sphere. This dark sphere seems to suck everything up until our heroes can find a way to stop the darkness from covering the whole Smash Brother's world. The story starts off with Mario and Kirby, yet somehow it ends with a whole team of characters like King Dedede, Luigi, Samus, Fox, Link, Ness, and even more! With this huge team, you would think that only one of them would be needed to break through the boundaries of Subspace. Since power is restricted, you'll need to bring a boatload of characters into the game just to get to the final boss; who just so happens to be an older version of the Karate Kid's Sensei! As you play through the areas, there will be an occasional cut from one set of characters to the next. I personally think that no one cares what's happening on the other side of the area. Sometimes they even cut when it's unnecessary. They should just finish a saga and then cut-off to a different character(s). It would let the story flow with ease instead of “Oh, here's Solid Snake! Too bad you won't be able to use him until the next few stories though!”.

So, as I was venturing through the lovely world, I finally recollected everybody into one big happy family! Then we decided to go see what Bowser and Ganondorf were up to. We basically attacked their ship and ended up somewhere else, God knows I didn't want to. Wait, you wanted to hear about the amazing characters you obtain along the way? Of course! Well, I don't know what kind of achievement this is, but obtaining Marth and Ike is NOT an achievement of any kind. I wanted to be rewarded with useful characters that actually did something, not characters that are horrible in both regular brawls and SSE. Marth is really fast, yet we don't know if Nintendo messed up his gender, and Ike is your normal, everyday, grandma driving ten miles per hour on a highway! This wouldn't be much of a good review if I just flamed a set amount of characters. There were some characters, like Falco and Fox, which I could just storm through the story with. These two are an achievement worth obtaining because taking off items and then throwing them both into a Final Destination match would be just perfect. The amount of good characters probably overweighs the bad characters, so you shouldn't mind much when you unlock Marth and Ike. It's when you get the third-party characters that you'll probably want to start playing the game. Well, back to Subspace. Somehow, the Karate Kid's Sensei (formally known as Tabuu), is going to betray Master Hand, Ganondorf, and Bowser. Everybody will be lost in the process and they'll turn back into their original state (which is trophies). Kirby has to go through the stage to find the characters in their trophy form and pick them up. Eventually when you get far enough into Subspace, you'll be able to use those characters again. For me, “eventually” means replaying the whole game in two hours without any CGI! Yes, you basically run through the game another time! I don't know who came up with that idea, but please, if you want to sell a game with a decent story, do NOT, and I repeat, do NOT do that again!

Besides irritatingly fighting Ridley and Captain Falcon's punch, I thought SSE was okay. When I got to the end, I realized I missed half the doors and that I had to backtrack all the way to certain areas! This also irritated me because I had to teleport from one place to another just to get to that area, and that meant that I was playing through the story mode a third time. After all that, I decided that this review had to written, but I had to complete the story mode first. I arrived at the final boss, Tabuu (or, jokingly, the Karate Kid's Sensei). This guy is no joke. He can just slap you and you're out like a Popsicle on the sun. It's really such a joke that they'd put an overpowered boss like this into the game. Some kids are just getting into this game and people like me, who've had the first game, the second, and now the third, aren't easily challenged. The people who are just getting into the game, I'm guessing, probably don't know how to manipulate the controls correctly and are probably never going to get past the boss. Well, after a few tries, I decided that overpowered hits with Ike and Snake would do the trick; and it did. So after I beat the boss, I watch the weird ending, and then find out that I only have 81% completed! Plus, I'm missing an oversized balloon, a coyote, and a sailor. For those of you who don't get the joke, I was missing Jigglypuff, Wolf, and Link. I had to go and read a walkthrough and find out where they were. I went and got them and then I found out I only had 83% done! What? Does Jigglypuff not matter that much? So, after I got everything in SSE, I decided to try out the regular Brawl stages. I had a wide range of characters that I was easily satisfied with and I went to go pick Falco. A long day was behind me, so I didn't want to go and change the CPU's character, but only his level. I had fun with that match, so I guess the upside is the multiplayer instead of the very tedious solo mode. You can, however, play through SSE with a friend, but sometimes they aren't dependable and they end up losing a life because they can't keep up with your side-scrolling skills. I prefer to play alone solely on that reason, it gets really, really, really, difficult just to go through a side-scrolling level with someone tagging along.

Now then, you have the usual brawl stadium with a bucket-load of characters to play as and you have the scary storyline that is what I like to call “the monster underneath my bed”. There are other modes that you can venture into by yourself. These all include (and I'll go into further detail about them all and how mind-dragging they are) Home-run Stadium, Multi-man Brawl, Target Smash, and Boss Battles. These “wonderful” mini-games make the game really boring. The only reason I ventured into these games was because I needed them to obtain a certain trophy. If you are a completion-fan of games, then you'll have a ton of trouble breaking the trophies. I'll go into further elaboration about the trophy room and its uniqueness. These modes are basically fun, fun, fun sort of things that you should occasionally play when you get bored of the game. In these mini-games, you do things that range from breaking targets, hitting a sandbag to obtain a fair distance in feet, kill alloys, and destroy the bosses that you encountered in the story mode. To unlock the “Boss Battle” mini-game you must have beaten the story mode. You will also unlock “All-Star” mode in the process. All-Star mode is where you fight all the characters in the game with one character and with only three hearts to replenish your health in-between fights. Further elaboration on these games isn't needed, they are great to play, and that's all you need to know. Some may be troublesome, but the mini-games like “All-Star” mode and “Boss Battles” really bring up the “fun factor” of the game. Both of those modes usually get you adjusted to the game if you took a break from it and/or it just gets you better at it. Running through both of these modes after a few games should keep you from breaking your Wiimote if you die in the next round! The trophy room, ah, such an amazing place to be. It's like Sakurai's way of saying “Play our game longer!” and trust me, Sakurai probably intended for that to happen. This is like the Xbox 360's “Achievement” system. In the trophy room, once you did a certain task, a box will shatter, revealing a trophy, CD, masterpiece, new pieces to make your custom stages, or a new area to play in! I stopped after getting all of the areas and CD's because the rest really didn't seem worth it. The majority of hard tasks only gave me a trophy. Yes, beating Target Smash Level 4 in 31 seconds only gave me a trophy. After about thirty minutes of hard work, all I got was a trophy. After fifteen fights in Shadow Moses Island, I obtained Snake. I think this game is telling us that hard work never has good tradeoffs. I was disappointed in the weird system they implemented, but I shrugged it off and still played the game regardless of the system.

So, this is just a basic overview thus far. The storyline is horrible. The gameplay is okay. You can actually trip in this game. Whoever came up with this idea must go back to the drawing board and think of something way more “original”. I don't want to trip while I'm so close to getting the last Dragoon part. Yes, that did happen, I was so close and it was right in front of my face. Then, Falco just trips and falls straight on his backside. Instead, my little brother got the piece and he hit me and I dropped all of my pieces (at 0%). He isn't good at aiming, so he missed, which was a good thing. There were a lot of things about the system that peeved me. I didn't like the fact that combos weren't really easy to master because any kid with a first grade education should know that they should save their last jump until the enemy tries to hit them. Then you have the overpowered items. Last I checked, I read at the item screen that “x” item was supposed to do “x” action, but instead it does “x” action to me instead! Not to the enemy, but to me! They should've stated at the screen that the effects could happen to you and not just your enemy. It seems like they wanted to spend more time writing stories for their beloved trophies rather than make a flawless game. However, when the effects of items and the occasional trip do not happen, this game is pretty fun. There isn't much more to really elaborate on.

The graphics and music are both really superb. I really enjoyed listening to the jingles for the stages. On the other hand, some stages had some really annoying audio. I dealt with that because half the time I play the game, people are screaming to win. Those are usually people I really don't know, fans of the game. The majority of my friends prefer the clashing Devil May Cry 4 and the shooter Call of Duty 4. The graphics are actually really great. Link looks exactly the way he looks in Twilight Princess. I thought that was pretty impressive. Everybody is designed so perfectly (in garments). Zero Suit Samus leaves the men drooling and Snake leaves the girls in awe and Marth leaves both the girls and boys in utter dismay!

A score doesn't mean anything. I picked that score because beside it, it said “Nothing special”. There really wasn't anything that shocked me. It pertained to the Smash Brothers series, but I think they need to really bring it to the table next time instead of giving us a half-baked story. Also, they should've given us a better selection of characters. Sometimes when I look at the player selection screen, I drop my jaw at how many characters that could've been and what characters shouldn't have made it into the game. Overall, the game was great, just the cons really outweighed the pros.

Reviewer's Score: 5/10, Originally Posted: 05/19/08

Game Release: Super Smash Bros. Brawl (US, 03/09/08)